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A Simple Guide To Choosing The Right People
Six tips built from 10,000+ interactions
It has taken me ten years, thirty countries, and ten thousand human interactions with people all over the world to realize one simple, time-saving truth:
The people you choose to spend time with define you, whether you like it or not.
I wish it weren't true, but it is.
You're not the average of the five people you spend the most time with; you're the average of everyone you spend time with.
The people around you define what is acceptable. If everyone in your circle is overweight, smoking, and depressed, guess what? They're defining what is acceptable behavior to you. You have no better frame of reference. You need to get out of there ASAP!
In a decade of traveling, I've had to learn how to filter people very quickly. When you live on the road, sometimes you have to make a snap decision, with the result deciding if you sleep in a safe bed or get robbed.
Traveling the world is the perfect venue to learn how to do this at scale. If you choose the wrong people on the road, you might spend a few uncomfortable days traveling with them before never seeing them again.
The stakes are relatively low.
If you choose the wrong people to spend time with in your normal, day-to-day life, the stakes could not be higher. Over time, the people you spend time with can influence you to make decisions that compound, turning you into a substance-abusing, paycheck-to-paycheck living zombie.
The good news is that there’s a wealth of great people out there. I’ve met thousands of them.
Today, I'd like to share three red flags and three green flags, honed over a decade of interactions, that have become my "friend filters"
They’ve served me well, and helped me create the list of qualities I wanted in a partner that landed me the amazing woman I’m with.
Red Flags
