You Don’t Need a Life Coach, You Need a Life.

Yes, I’m talking to YOU.

A few months after I graduated college, I took some of my hard-earned bartending money and headed for Southeast Asia. There was a peculiar plague haunting the hostels during my time there: life coaches.

It could have been a coincidence, but a few of them seemed to be everywhere I was staying, binge drinking by night, and developing a vague understanding of Eastern religions to share with their Instagram followers by day. After the 4th or 5th one I met, I developed a pretty good understanding of their cookie-cutter message. I started doing research, and I believe I’ve distilled the essence of the average life coach:

Good-looking people develop a social media following by doing slightly out of the ordinary things. This convinces the average social media consumer that the good-looking person has some sort of qualification. The good-looking person gets dollar signs in their eyes, realizing that they can charge people money for bootleg, cliche advice. The “life coach” then charges people with less of a social media following to tell them to go do… something. Anything.

One of my friends that I volunteered with during my travels called up a life coach back home (that she had found on Instagram) and paid this woman (who was not a psychologist or therapist)…